22. (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman - Aretha Franklin 1967

  

'Cause you make me feel
You make me feel
You make me feel like
A natural woman (woman)

 

Have you ever encountered an expectation that you’re willing and able to care for other’s offspring just because you’re ‘Oh my God! A woman!’?

Some males seem to have an expectation that I’ll take care of their kids when said kid’s mums aren’t around. This happens the most when the dads have other things they’d rather be doing. I don’t know if this expectation is based on an incorrect assumption that I have a maternal streak, or if these males think I should comply to the traditional female role and therefore conveniently free up their time.

These situations have included one of my partner’s many brothers getting his daughter to ask me to take her to the toilet – the father was in ear-shot so needless to say I said ‘No’, another one of my partner’s brothers leaving his daughter with me, without asking if I was okay with it, while he went off to play golf, and many other similar situations.

Sorry guys,  but a vasectomy is a valid option if you think you might reproduce but aren’t prepared to take on the responsibilities of being a parent. It’s not the responsibility of any female that happens to be around at the time to take care of your cherubs for you.

While we’re on the subject of cherub production, I used to feel like my partner’s parents saw me as nothing but a broodmare – my purpose was to produce grandchildren for them.

The out-laws (my partner and I haven’t bothered to marry so I refer to his parents as the out-laws rather than the in-laws) were farmers. His mum is Dutch (read: has no filter, she just says it as she sees it). His dad is tractor death (read: just shouts everything he has to say and apparently struggles to hear others). Therefore their practical, no-mess, to-the-point approach to those around them appears to have boiled down the purpose of their sons and associated partners to providing them with grandchildren. Add to this the fact that they appear to be slightly embarrassed by the number of divorces and the high level of alcohol consumption amongst the bros, and they seem to have written them all off and are now looking to the hope of the future in their grandkids.

It seems very apparent to me that despite about 60 years of women’s liberation, we’re still expected to fit in the pigeon-holes of 1950’s society.

As a natural woman, I choose to not participate in this bullshit. Ironically, over the years this appears to have resulted in the out-laws accepting me better than they possibly would have if I had of raised a few grandkids for them (read: the competing ideas of child raising that would have been encountered).

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEWuAcMWDLY 

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