42. Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) – Beyonce 2008

 

I need no permission, did I mention?
Don't pay him any attention
'Cause you had your turn (turn) and now you gon' learn
What it really feels like to miss me

 

So, I was recently blindsided by my significant other of almost twenty-five years dumping me.

            Don’t worry. This is not a sob story. Rather, it’s about the empowerment of being single.

            After the initial shock of WHAT THE F*** JUST HAPPENED! I moved on to thinking about what, after so long as half of a couple, does being single look like for me.

            Firstly, I woke up the next morning and realised I didn’t have to wait for him to drag his arse out of bed. Instead, I went for a horse ride and did a few of those annoying jobs around the property that needed to be done with or without hm.

            During the week I had to hitch my float and take one of the horses to the vet and back again. Then I had to reverse the float back into the shed once I was done. Usually I’d ask him to help with this because it’s just easier to do with a second person. I did it by myself and, I’ve gotta say, it’s sooo much more satisfying to do it by yourself.

            By the weekend I had to move large round bales of hay (about 500kg each) into the paddocks. No tractor or other form of heavy lifting equipment, just my own muscles and wits. Previously it would be a two-person job, and sure it is quicker and easier with a second person, but ‘Oh my God! A woman!‘, this woman, did it by herself.

            All these, and other, minor events of self-achievement and self-worth got me thinking that women are better equipped to take care of themselves. We’re generally raised to be care givers which means that we know how to get on with the business of taking care of ourselves. Men, Australian men in particular, on the other hand, are traditionally raised to be providers, which means they’re generally incompetent in doing anything other than going to work and earning a crust, falling in a heap if they have to take care of cooking, cleaning, sole parenting, banking, organising time commitments, etc., etc..

            Honestly, I didn’t realise what a rut I was in until I was forced to face a new life without my man in it. And, I gotta say, I’m embracing the possibilities of a future without the ex-factor. You know, what I could be doing, rather than what I can no longer do. Thankfully a few single ladies I call friends pointed out how much they love their single lives. This helped me along the path towards this realisation.

            While I’m so thankful right now that I never felt the need to put a ring on it (no divorce required for me), this one is for the self-empowerment of all the single ladies out there.

 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY&t=6s

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