Just a Girl by Tammie Adele

  Can't read my, can't read my No, he can't read my poker face (she's got me like nobody) Can't read my, can't read my No, he can't read my poker face (she's got me like nobody)   What’s the deal with old, entitled white males?             Don’t bother answering that. I know the answer. They’re stuck in a very personally convenient time warp and they’re expecting the rest of society to join them there.             I’ve recently taken up social poker. This is a game that I played on a regular basis in my early thirties, and I was pretty good at it too. Youngish males would join the table full of bravado and think they could bully me out of a hand by betting big, using their bulky and/or fit physiques to try to intimidate me, and telling me how I should play my cards, even advising “You had no business being in that hand” after I’d relieved them of their chips...

  I need no permission, did I mention? Don't pay him any attention 'Cause you had your turn (turn) and now you gon' learn What it really feels like to miss me   So, I was recently blindsided by my significant other of almost twenty-five years dumping me.             Don’t worry. This is not a sob story. Rather, it’s about the empowerment of being single.             After the initial shock of WHAT THE F*** JUST HAPPENED! I moved on to thinking about what, after so long as half of a couple, does being single look like for me.             Firstly, I woke up the next morning and realised I didn’t have to wait for him to drag his arse out of bed. Instead, I went for a horse ride and did a few of those annoying jobs around the property that needed to be done with or without hm.     ...

  You've got the upper hand But I've got nothing to lose When I'm trapped in a corner like this I might light a fuse   I have faith in the strength of female relationships. But, seriously, sometimes I wonder why.             I’ve written and published a NOVEL. As a NOVEL it is, obviously, a work of fiction. Sure, it is based in truth (lesson one of novel writing is write what you know ), but it is still a NOVEL. There is even a disclaimer in the front matter that states it is a work of fiction.             So, when a female relative started attacking me over a tiny part of the novel because she thought I was making things up about an event I knew nothing about, I realised that she knew there was an element of truth in my novel. So, I pointed her to the disclaimer in the front matter, giving her the opportunity to accept that I was not presenting the story as...

All the riches, baby Won't mean anything All the riches, baby Don't bring what your love can bring All the riches, baby Won't mean anything Don't need no other, baby   I want to start this post by saying I’m not a mum.             Now, not following the sisterhood down the parenting path wasn’t a choice for me, but, as far as I’m aware, becoming parents was a choice for family and friends that managed to make their own cherubs. My partner and I invested an awful lot of time and effort in practicing baby making, and then in attempting baby making. Then we invested significant finances in our baby making efforts as we navigated assisted reproduction. But it wasn’t to be. Now we’re investing in other peoples offspring through the tax system. I’m not saying I’m against paid parental leave, child rebates, public education, universal health care or whatever other tax redistribution programs there are out there to en...

  The ladies will kick it, the rhyme that is wicked Those that don't know how to be pros get evicted A woman can bear you, break you, take you Now it's time to rhyme, can you relate to A sister dope enough to make you holler and scream   So, we got a not so shiny and new king two years back. That’s right, Charlie finally graduated from his seventy-four-year apprenticeship and got his hands on the crown. Through all the ceremony and media attention, did anyone think of Princess Anne? I mean, the eventual Queen Lizzy got lucky not having an older brother and then having a son straight up. If Anne had of been just two years older, she would have had to step aside so her kid brother could take the throne. Thirty-four years later and Princess Di spared everyone the embarrassment of having a daughter that would have to step aside for a kid brother – and I’m pretty sure Di would have to keep at it until a son was born. It wasn’t until Princess Kate was pregnant thirty...

  This is a man's world But it wouldn't be nothing Nothing not one little thing Without a woman or a girl   So, this is old news for me, but I’m sharing it anyhow. As I discussed in Post 37 , I was up for jury duty a few months back. In this post I discussed how I had little to no chance of actually being selected as a juror because of my gender, age and education. Well, I had it wrong. I’ve apparently watched too many Hollywood movies and didn’t have any idea about the New South Wales (NSW) jury process. My first take home is that it is very refreshing to now know that juror “selection” in NSW is (almost) totally randomised. We were all assigned a number and then it was a lottery draw as to who’s numbers were drawn out. That said, the defence then had the opportunity to make three challenges to jurors without explanation as to why they didn’t want them there. Surprise, surprise , they challenged the three youngest females, who also happened to be very well dress...

  Girls just wanna have rights So, why do we have to fight?    You can call me irrelevant, insignificant I won't call on you at all   Wow . . . I don’t know what to say about what’s going on in America, other than I’m damn glad to be an Australian.             Thank you P!nk for putting it together in a great song and a moving film clip.             Feel free to read this article from Rolling Stone if you want more context.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54TqACn_9V8  

  R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me R-E-S-P-E-C-T Take care, TCB Oh (sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me) A little respect (sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me)   Soooo, I’m up for jury duty soon. ‘How’s this relevant to a blog about women in the 2020s?’ you ask. Well, once I received my notice from New South Wales Communities and Justice I thought something along the lines of   This will be a hassle .   Then my thoughts moved to   This could be interesting .   Finally I landed on   I might have been called up as a randomised representative of society, but they’re not going to pick me .   Why are they not going to pick me? Well, I’m an educated female that is capable of thinking for herself. Solicitors, who are predominantly male, don’t want my type anywhere near their juries. Solicitors prefer the uneducated as they believe they can be more easily lead d...

  To the other men that respect what I do Please accept my shine Boy, you know you love it How we're smart enough to make these millions Strong enough to bear the children Then get back to business   It’s been almost a year since America voted in its first female Vice President, and the sky hasn’t fallen. @KamalaHarris has clearly inspired a generation of women by reaching the second highest office in American politics, and she may yet reach the highest office. However, before Kamala Harris became the Veep she had a distinguished legal career - the first black District Attorney in California, the first black and South Asian American Attorney General in California, and the first South Asian American woman and second black woman in the U.S. Senate. Meanwhile in Australia . . . I really can’t say much more than this excellent article by @Dr_KMcLoughlin , so I’ll just highlight my key take home points from it. When eminent and obviously appropriate men judges are ...

  My heart is achin' to see you play And I can't wait Till another day   Ummm, I don’t know how I feel about this one. A couple of weeks back Netball Queensland had their state titles, and never before has a winning team caused so much controversy. They had parents abusing players and officials. Not because of some wrong doing. The team that won, won fair and square. The team was being abused because they were boys . . . Sorry, but isn’t the general lack of respect being applied on a gender basis exactly what ‘ Oh my God! Women! ’ have been fighting against for generations? The one decent article I could find on this issue - which has been regurgitated by many other online media outlets - did raise the very fair point that the boys team was a sate (representative) team, while all other (girls) teams were regional (community) teams. This situation is on the nose. Now, I know I’ve never really played netball (see Post 14 for an account of my limited experience ...

  Fly the great big sky See the great big sea Kick through continents Busting boundaries   I like to travel. I mean, when we’re not in the midst of a Covid induced standstill, I take every opportunity I can to travel. I started my intrepid ways at the age of 18 when, fresh out of high school, I hopped on a plane to the other side of the planet to do a working holiday in the UK, and I haven’t looked back. I never felt that I had to miss out on experiencing anything the world had to offer just because I was on my own. Initially at least, no boyfriend to hold my hand, and no girlfriend to do a bit of mutual back watching with. Just me. However, travelling as a Single White Female ( film reference intentional ) did present a few challenges for me. These challenges were not due to cultural clashes or ignorance, but because of my gender. I present to you Experience One. While travelling through Egypt in the mid-90s I had an employee of a motel I was staying invite hi...

  Men grow cold As girls grow old And we all lose our charms in the end   I have a boss. My boss happens to be male. He also happens to sulk - A LOT - and assume that things will just happen around him - that I’ll take care of things for him - without him having to get concerned about them. This sounds like a 1950s husband and wife scenario doesn’t it? I mean, when I was a kid - in the 80s, not the 50s by the way - if my mum wasn’t around to cook dinner, we were lucky to get fish fingers nuked in the microwave for dinner ‘cause, unless there was a barbeque involved, my dad had never concerned himself with learning the basics of cooking for himself. Then when my big sister turned about ten it was suddenly her responsibility to feed the family if Mum wasn’t around, again because Dad really couldn’t be arsed concerning himself with domestic chores. Given this childhood, I found myself cutting my boss some slack when he started sulking about the trivial stuff in the...

  Working 5 to 9, making something of your own now And it feels so fine to build a business from your know-how Gonna move ahead, and there’s nothing that you can’t do When you listen to that little voice inside you Yeah 5 to 9, you’ve got passion and a vision Cuz it’s hustlin’ time, a whole new way to make a livin’ Gonna change your life, do something that gives it meaning   There’s a current boom of female entrepreneurs .             We’re literally taking care of business – working 5 to 9, as Dolly puts it. However, as discussed in Post 19 , we’re a long way of parity. But as we take on entrepreneurship full steam ahead, traditionally female dominated fields in the 9 to 5 world, such as education, still tend to have men running the show.             I mean, as I went through school in the late 80s and early 90s I had countless female teachers, a handful ...

  Like a small boat On the ocean Sending big waves Into motion Like how a single word Can make a heart open I might only have one match But I can make an explosion   As a society Australia has been contemplating gender equity issues in the Olympics for some time now.             In the lead-up to the 2012 London Olympics the comedy duo Hamish and Andy tried their hands at synchronised swimming with a Czech male non-competition team. Their take home message was that it was sexist to not have a male synchronised swimming event in the Olympics . . .             Then, as the London 2012 opening ceremony was looming, the issue of who would be our flag bearer became a gender issue . Natalie Cook was portrayed as having a dummy spit. Maybe she was. However I think she had a fair point in saying that she had walked behind male flag bearers at four previous Oly...

  You can buy your hair if it won't grow You can fix your nose if he says so You can buy all the make-up That M.A.C. can make But if you can't look inside you Find out who am I To be in the position that make me feel So damn unpretty   Okay, so today’s post is a bit of a contrast the last post , which discussed the unbelievably pretty Victoria’s Secret angels. Today we’re discussing the very unpretty body image issues a lot of women are faced with, whether the issues are real or perceived.             I have a cousin that is known for her good looks. She and her eventual husband met while they were both young and good looking, but after marriage and about five kids I guess the passion was starting to wane. He started fooling around on her. I’m not saying that my cousin wouldn’t have cheated on him – I don’t know if she would have or not – just that with five kids to care for, she didn’t have much of an opportu...

  I feel pretty Oh so pretty I feel pretty and witty and gay And I pity Any girl who isn't me today   So, . . . Victoria’s Secret has retired the angel wings. The reason given for retiring the iconic wings was that the whole concept was too far removed from what women want and too fixated on men’s fantasies . The idea of supermodels strutting along catwalks wearing nothing but scanty underwear and ‘wings’ was conceived in the 70s. The world is very different in the 2020s to what it was in the 1970s, but does that make the angel wings redundant? Yes, the idea was conceived and perpetuated by male executives, and I’ve never heard of a male disrespecting the angels, but does that mean that women don’t like it? I mean, isn’t the whole idea that the angels represent the fantasy – women want to be them, men want to be with them? That said, I think the direction Victoria’s Secret is going in is admirable. They now employ an ethnically diverse crew of over-achieving ‘ ...

    To those of us who knew the pain Of valentines that never came And those whose names were never called When choosing sides for basketball   Many moons ago when I was seventeen my favourite subject at school was media studies. I loved learning about how the media can be used to communicate broader stories, how the media boils down these stories and, more generally, how it is a lens to society and culture. That said, at one stage I found myself watching a group of my female classmates presenting on the portrayal of women in the media. Supermodel @NaomiCampbell ’s appearance in the film clip for @michaeljackson ’s In the Closet was held up as their great example of the objectification of women in the media and the unrealistic images that girls have to aspire to. To try to drive their message home, the group had plastered the walls of our media room with pages, mainly advertisements, ripped out of women’s magazines featuring, apparently, unrealistic images of ...

  I am just a red brassiere To all the boys in town Put this bus in top gear Get me out of here   Soooo, the other day a bunch of privileged old white males decided that they were too important to mix with ‘ Oh my God! Women! ’. That’s right, I’m talking about the Sydney Australian Club’s two thirds vote against allow women membership. My first thought was along the lines of How dare they! Then I checked out their website and moved along to Who cares? Finally I watched some of the copious amount of media commentary on the issue and finally got it. I guess my point is that a club that provides its members with, I quote,  ". . .excellent dining facilities, en-suite bedrooms and apartments, a fully equipped gym, and . . . first rate business facilities . . ." really isn’t offering that much. Sydney is full of excellent dining establishments, accommodation, gyms, and even business facilities. However, it is the exclusive networking opportunities and associated prestige...

  You know, sometimes I want to rip out your throat, Daddy For all those things you said that were mean Gonna make you just as vulnerable as I was, Daddy What’s that say about me?   Dads love their daughters. There’s generally no debating that. However, they also objectify women. This may explain why they are so protective of their daughters (see Post 14 and Post 17 ), because they know what they themselves are capable of, never mind other men. Worse still. Maybe they remember what they did to girls when they were boys. As stated in reference to our illustrious leader, @ScomoAnnounces , in Post 21 , it’s time for men to stop thinking of the women they care about as being separate or different to those they don’t care about. Of course they care about their women, or at least should care about them, but that doesn’t make their women different to the other 49.6% of the world population that is female , or the 50.2% of the Australian population that is female . After all,...

    I realized quickly when I knew I should That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man For whatever that means     When I was 25 I was still trying to prove my independence and figure out what my identity was. By the time I turned 35 I was happily settled into a relationship and was earning more cash than my man, but not feeling as though he had to lift his game and earn as much as me (compare to Post 3 ). This got me thinking that, maybe, the mad drive a fair proportion of women have to prove themselves is all self-inflicted. Additionally, maybe this pursuit of proving themselves is counter productive when it comes to relationships, because at some stage you have to cease looking out for just yourself and start looking out for others in order to have a healthy relationship. Then, as a gender, we further confuse sex relations when it comes to etiquette. We live in an era when males don’t know if they’re expected to open doors for us or not. ...